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    « The Wide Open Now | Main | faery gifting continues around the Bay...keep your eyes open! »
    Monday
    Oct032016

    Letting things go well 

    This is a personal piece of writing...about patience and kindness...about limitations and grace...about love

    One of my magic stones wanted to be included...as always line and word want to dance together. 

    Letting things go well

    At first I was furious with the Universe, secretly so

    I blamed this whole dam spinning planet

    myself included

    for pinning me down

    for clipping my wings

    for denying me love, my one true love

    but I could not stay down that long

    in faery years it is but a blink

    but for a human it feels much longer

    too long really...


    but by and by

    as water works her way around and in and through the most impenetrable surfaces

    I give way

    that I, who things she is all that is

    who thinks she is a super star but in fact

    who doesn't even believe in herself

    she tumbles about as time passes

    and the day comes

    when she actually, for real, falls in love

    and her heart beats the way it was meant to beat

    strong and deep and true

    and she, that she who is a we, who is never alone, who is whole

    THAT she inside wakes up

    and looks out of my eyes

    and sees the world

    how beautiful

    how curious 

    how shimmering...and ever moving

    do you see what I'm seeing!

    do you see this? she asks me

    the me who is too busy making breakfast, answering emails and figuring it all out

    she asks me...do you see this!?

    it is a wonder

    YOU are a wonder

    Wow...

     

    and for some time

    this one in me sits and hums this wonder

    this wow

    because she can't help herself

    in fact she can't stop

    in fact she's always sung this song

    and she will go on singing it

    if you really want to know, she enjoys her own good company

    she is patient, this one

    patient with me

    for she knows I would get angry and defensive

    if she made me listen

    and made me say and feel "oh how wonderful, oh how marvelous" when I wasn't ready to say and feel those things, for real

    so she waits...

    for she has no watch

    and she cares little for time as we know it

    she carries something that life itself cannot live without for too awfully long

    so she sits and hums

     

    and today I woke up not myself and wondered why

    and instead of feeling upset by it, or feeling less than by it, I knew this time something must change

    this gift of a life was seeping into me from all sides now

    almost gushing at me from across the room

    and it took me a while

    it took me eating that jar of almond butter before I calmed down enough

    to notice myself, staring at me

    with such enamoured love

    such wondrous beholding

    such patience

    such lust even

    that I dropped my spoon on the floor

    and decided that this was the day

    that I would give myself over to myself

    for real

    not for fun, not as an intellectual exercise

    but for real

    as is

    as I am, with this pimple on my chin and too much almond butter in my tummy

    As Is

    I decided I would surrender to her

    because she is my one true love

    my winged companion

    always and forever she is my ecstatic partner

    no at the expense of a he

    for I long for him still

    but it is now a different kind of longing

    more like an artist walking along the sea shore

    knowing she will eventually look down and find just what she is looking for

    right by her feet, by that piece of drift wood and nestled against that swag of fresh seaweed

    there!...look!

    what a Wonder

    and she, with a great smile and immense warmth

    returns to her cottage with this new magic

    and finally

    after long last

    lets things go well for her

    perhaps for the first time. 

     

    by. Jani Gillette and realms beyond

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